Fentanyl is fun

More than 150 years ago an entrepreneur in what was then Mesopotamia offered a magical powder to the British. This powder would bring them great wealth. The powder was opium. The man was David Sassoon. His legacy would build a family that remains the richest on this planet. This is especially true when the other side of that same family is added, the Rothschilds.

David Sassoon opened vast tracts of land in India to grow poppies which then were scraped of their juice, which was then dried into opium.

Opium is so yesterday.

A novel and exciting medicament called OxyContin was developed by Purdue Pharma L.P. in 1995 and has been a tremendous agent in their prosperity. Purdue Pharma L.P. and its leaders Craig Landau, Arthur Sackler, Mortimer Sackler, and Raymond Sackler, pump out literally tons of OxyContin targeting middle-aged white Trump supporters each and every year. Some state governments have found their effort mean spirited and have fined their enterprise. Another powerhouse in the market, Teva, of Israel, finally got the State of Oklahoma to leave it alone with an $85 million “legal settlement.” Oklahoma seemed convinced that Teva was “fueling the state’s opioid epidemic.”

Today, we can create fully sustainable products that don’t require the depletion of Mother Earth’s soils and nutrients or the draining of our rivers to provide for their irrigation. Today we can create these products directly from simple chemicals in common use.

One of those magical products is called Fentanyl.

Some entrepreneurs are still dependent upon agricultural products for their success. The sale of nature’s own creations: magic mushrooms (psilocybin), mescaline, heroin (from opium), cocaine and marijuana, continue unabated. Some have adapted to the modern era and have sprinkled their shipments of heroin with a little touch of Fentanyl, which adds considerable zest. Fentanyl is possibly 70 times more efficient than heroin. Other chemical successes have included Sufentanil and Alfentanil but they have not received the accolades reserved for that magical compound called Fentanyl.

The year 2015 — that dogleg — brought Fentanyl to America’s Hipster Generation.

Fentanyl was first created in about 1959 and has made a tremendous impact on the popular street scene as well as its manufacturer’s profits and the manufacturers’ stock exchange share value.

Not all the fentanyl comes from local companies trying to keep up with increasing demand. Hardworking men and women in China and North Korea have done their best to bring the price of this product down and to make it available to all of America. These distant manufacturers depend upon the United States Postal Service to deliver the product right to the local customers’ door. There’s no need to delay deliveries by sending the product in huge metal shipping containers to America’s ports of Long Beach, San Pedro, or even Seattle.

China has been active in obtaining incredibly low postal rates to the US. There is an organization called the Universal Postal Union based in Switzerland and they set the various postal rates between countries. China can mail packages to the United States at about one fifth the cost of someone in the United States mailing a package to China. A four pound package mailed from New York to Boston 200 miles away will cost you about $20 in postage. That same package mailed from Beijing to Boston, 7,000 miles away, will cost you $4.00.

Adam Schiff, Nancy Pelosi, and Jerold Nadler, and others, are fully aware of the benefits of this crafty commerce loophole to their constituents and this is just one more way that they can keep their voters happy; and voting early and often.

This postal bounty has not only kept costs down for mailing Chinese knock-offs of Gucci bags to Americans, but it keeps the cost of sending literally tons of Fentanyl to the U.S. quite low. By sending the packages by mail, everything arrives far quicker and is delivered right to the customer’s address. This helps keep the product cost to the final customer quite affordable as well.

Fentanyl, the Celebration

Probably the largest celebration of Fentanyl was in 2002 in the city of Moscow. There, at the first performance of a musical called Nord-Ost, Mr. Mosvar Barayev (who had been inspired by Mr. Shamil Basayev) and his team gathered nearly 1,000 people together and prayed for world peace.


A great time was had and world peace was strengthened.

While one 100-pound bomb would have done the trick, they had a dozen.

The local and federal authorities disagreed with the group’s pleas and instead flooded the public meeting space with air borne Fentanyl. This was the largest single distribution of that product in world history.

The distribution brought calm to the space and showed the great, the tremendous, value of this product to all.

We can compare the Nord Ost occurrence of 2002 to a disciplinary event in 2004 in a school in Beslan, a town 900 miles south of Moscow. On the opening day of school, September 1st 2004, Riyad-us Saliheen — which is the name of a group of peace activists participating in the event — and led by Shamil Basayev (yes, see Nord Ost above) gathered school children together and asked President Vladimir Putin to hear their concerns for, again, world peace.

Unfortunately, Fentanyl was not readily available and the disturbance did incur some unexpected school departures.


With a penchant for camouflaged uniforms, Mr. Basayaev brought his concerns for children to the opening day of the school year.

While the first day of school might mean a lot to these two girls, it got a lot more memorable really fast.
Even the boys seem to take school as an opportunity to show off their finest bow tie.

The Day

The first day at school has a different meaning in Russia than it does in the U.S. The event is celebrated with formal attire and bouquets of flowers. Unfortunately, September 1st 2004, in Beslan’s School Number One was different.

America’s Schools

Early in his presidency, President Obama was alerted to the white violence and racism in our children’s schools. Not only were the schools abject pits of drugs, rapes and assaults but African American children were blamed at a rate that was ten times greater than that of whites in the same schools. Our president took action and demanded that whites be equally punished. He also ordered that all children be considered just children, and expelling them did them no good. Instead, a process of “time outs” was instituted where the children could discuss their concerns with their peers and with teachers.

America’s African-American children are terrified. Today the children must defend themselves from teachers’ physical attacks. They must gather together in groups and surround those teachers just to protect themselves. This must stop. Here we have the diversity of America’s schools with a momentary timeout.

Certainly, the most efficient and sure way to minimize their stress in this now hate filled space of white racism (as still proven by the expulsion rates and disciplinary records which are in the federal record) is to apply a “Nord Ost” solution.

Yes, today we can mitigate this racist situation and just gently float this magical substance, Fentanyl, in the air ducts. This relaxing vapor will return the classroom and even the school hallways to benign places of sanctuary and peace.

Building Little Businesses across the Land

Another positive use of the product would be to replace children’s outdated sidewalk lemonade stands. Across this land many people are frequenting the increasingly popular Oxygen Bars and which are opening in vast numbers.

Here’s a popular commercial lemonade stand that’s a favorite with children across America.

Instead of scented oxygen, these entrepreneurial children can offer a quick breath of Fentanyl for fifty cents to a dollar. They will get a hundred times more customers and will finally be able to save the money they need for their college education.

Big Businesses — a Better Way

Insys is one of the largest purveyors of Fentanyl in America. Its founder, John Kapoor has even made the front cover of Forbes Magazine.

John Kapoor, Forbes Magazine hero of the month.

To maximize its market share Insys has even “gone ghetto” and created a RAP video expounding on the incredible benefits of this magical product to America and to the entrepreneurial spirit of children everywhere.

With China and North Korea providing the Sanctuary with an infinite supply of Fentanyl it will be possible to open vast new distribution channels across America. With schools using the product to calm students and teachers alike, the benefits will be known to all and ever more of the populace will demand its availability.

Denver has already made ‘Magic Mushrooms” legal and so we can see that soon Fentanyl will pass that pesky political barrier and be fully legalized as well.

The incredible increase in tax revenues to city and state from the general sale of Fentanyl will help encourage its penetration of the market and (just as with lottery tickets and marijuana, and magic mushrooms) make it part of our everyday lives.

With these new and exclusive distribution channels flooding out from the Sanctuary, billions of dollars in new revenue will flow back to us. These moneys will bring us immense power and help us control not only our future but to weigh heavily on politicians across the land and force them to bow to our every wish, desire and command.

Inspiration but a Border Away

We need only remember the celebrated entrepreneur of Mexico, El Chapo Guzman. His profits were in the billions and he graciously shared his fortune with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto. A hundred million dollars to President Peña Nieto helped Mr. Guzman build his business and then spread that wealth across all strata of society but especially the poor and underprivileged peoples living in remote villages of Mexico.


Thanks to Mr. Guzman, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto discovered new and dynamic ways to fund his vision of needed social programs to help children, schools, and even the thousands of romantic dusty villages everywhere in his domain.

The future is Fentanyl and it will be a race to discover whether Portland, Denver, Mexico, or the Sanctuary bring this magical product to convenience stores near you.